Idol Season Re-Crap

Congrats to Scotty!  Wins Idol, and gets big smooch on the lips from #2.  Might need chapperones on the tour.  Haley's restraining order on Grampa Steve might be revised to include Casey.
 
Results confirm FOX success with the NASCAR crowd.  Look for more Fox stars to pop up in commercials like Randy @ Walmart.   Jello is all over the makeup & should do well with a mail order bun burner video.  Steve's book sales make him a candidate for the next wave e-reader, but I'm thinkin' Slim Jims-that MOUTH is a goldmine!  Ryan could introduce manscaping to mulletheads.

Lotsa stuff to keep us old folks captive and curious about Fords & Droids, and our minds off the rhoids...

The ending hype was riddled with the usual last minute rush production gaffes.  Most from the mixing board-Full Sail graduates?  Judas Priest looked great-but you couldn't hear Glen's solo.  James out screeched poor old Rob, but blew some lyrics.  Suprisingly good 4 second solo, from the last second replacement for KK.  Catch the Epitaph Tour-meaning already dead?  Metal reality outdoes Spinal Tap once again.

The women of Idol 9 did a number together.  All forgotten but not gone.  Gone and Forgotten.  You get it.  Sucky in general. 

More Growlin' from Ca-sey & Tenacious J.B. on "Scat" Bottom Girls.   Haven't they learned in 9 seasons to stop trying to cover Queen?  Hot chicks on bikes couldn't save this bit.  Fat Bearded Guys you make that rocking world go round?   Last minute attempt at humor-cute for about two seconds-epic dud. 

Paesan Tony DiBennedetto lent some class to the affair, yet the obvious stylistic jazzbo pairing with Haley ended up pushing Idol's exploitation of the lolita concept even further past the rapture.  Did I see a hint of jealousy in Grampa Steve's beady eyes?  (Maybe just too much mascara.)

More blatant sexual innuendo from Jello & her pimp Marco.  "Look at my butt shake!  Just Look at it!."  "Yes Dear, Very Nice!  Keep it up while I sing."    "Now Stop Distracting Me!  My Voice is Cracking!"   Rotten was very suprised to see the butt in full operation after suspecting that it's deterioration was previously covered up a few weeks ago by hammerpants.  Repeat-Bun Burner Video.

Beyonce was beautiful & Spidey freaked me out, but Bono was boring.

Almost last, but not least-with two minutes left, from the bench......

Grandpa Pedophile Weird Uncle Steven Tyler of Aeroshit belts out "most" of his greatest hit!  And actually nails the high note for a second!  I will stop making fun of him for maybe one day.  He really earned it.   Where's that oxygen?

Time to get off the couch for summer.  See ya in JAN.  Unless the hype machine throws us a new Judge or something juicy from the tour I can bitch about.  You heard it here first. 

But Wait!  Lookie There!   KaraDioLaguardiaAirport sez she almost died from eating hash brownies at Paula Abdul's house!   They weren't hers but they were in her fridge?   Come on!  What a teenage stoner excuse! And Governator's Procreator list has grown to 13 concubines in as many days!

Faithfully Yours,
Rotten